In the hallway of Third Street School, Clyde Philmore had a plan.
Clyde: I'm going to bully someone and steal someone's lunch! Hahahahahahaha!
Then Clyde went off to the cafeteria hall, and then he entered it. Clyde went closer to Gus Griswald who stood up from the table where he, TJ and the gang were sitting.
Clyde: Out of my way, flat-top!
Gus stepped back and Clyde went past him.
Gus: Yes, sir.
Clyde: I hate you and no sauerkraut.
Clyde looked curious.
Clyde: Who's got something better?
Cornchip Girl was standing in front of the door, and she was holding her lunchbox. Clyde deviously looked at Cornchip Girl and he walked up to her. Cornchip Girl walked up to Clyde, and she stopped closer to him.
Cornchip Girl: Hi.
Clyde: Alright, girlie! Give me your lunchbox!
Clyde snatched Cornchip Girl's lunchbox from Cornchip Girl.
Cornchip Girl: Hey, that's mine!
Then Clyde picked up some crisps from Cornchip Girl's packed lunch.
Clyde: Aha! Just how I suspected, Cornchip Girl! You're always good for a bag of salty stuff!
Clyde had dropped Cornchip Girl's lunchbox on the floor, and he ate some of Cornchip Girl's crisps. Cornchip Girl felt sad.
Clyde: What are you looking at?
Then Clyde pushed Cornchip Girl to the floor.
Cornchip Girl: Aaah!
Everyone around the dining room was horrified, especially TJ and the gang. Clyde kept on eating Cornchip Girl's crisps.
Gus was very angry at Clyde.
Gus: You can't do that to a girl!
Gus walked up to Clyde, who was laughing.
Clyde was surprised.
Gus pushed Clyde to the floor.
TJ and the gang gasped, and everyone in the dining room was surprised. Gus was glaring at Clyde. Clyde began to cry.
Gus was horrified.
Gus: What? What did I do?
Then Cornchip Girl walked up to Gus.
Cornchip Girl: Hey, Gus! You...
Then Miss Finster came.
Miss Finster: Assaulting another student on school grounds, that's what! Griswald! Philmore! LaMaise! To the principal's office! On the double!
Then Gus, Cornchip Girl and Clyde went to Principal Prickly's office, and then later, they entered the waiting room to sit down.
Gus: I'm sorry, Cornchip Girl. I didn't mean to get you into trouble.
Cornchip Girl: It's not your fault. It was very brave of you to stand up for me. I just wish I hadn't spilled my lunch, it was Chipped Beef on Crackers.
Gus: Chipped Beef on Crackers! That's my favourite!
Then Gus' father Lieutenant Griswald came.
Lieutenant Griswald: Gus, I received a phonecall from Principal Prickly. He explained to me that you skirmished with another boy. And you know this disorderly kind of is strictly against Griswald policy.
Cornchip Girl: Um, excuse me, sir. It's true. Gus did knock Philmore down, but he only did it because he knocked me down first.
Clyde began to cry.
Lieutenant Griswald: Is that really what happened, private?
Gus: Yes, sir.
Lieutenant Griswald: I see. Now Gus, violence should never be one's first choice in solving conflicts. Mmm, that said, I'll concede it defending the girl is the noble thing to do. Especially...
Lieutenant Griswald started patting Cornchip Girl on her head.
Lieutenant Griswald: The girl was as cute as...
Then Cornchip Girl's father Lieutenant LaMaise burst in, and Lieutenant Griswald stopped patting Cornchip Girl and was looking annoyed.
Lieutenant LaMaise: Griswald! You of all people! Unhand my daughter!
Then Lieutenant Griswald confronted Lieutenant LaMaise.
Lieutenant Griswald: Well well! If it isn't Luke LaMaise!
Lieutenant LaMaise: That's Lieutenant LaMaise to you, mister! I should have known your boy was behind this!
Cornchip Girl rushed over to her dad.
Cornchip Girl: But dad!
Lieutenant LaMaise: I'm sure my little sailor could handle herself just fine without your son's stepping-up hostilities!
Lieutenant Griswald: Come here, I hear it! My son was just coming to your daughter's rescue!
Lieutenant LaMaise glared to Lieutenant Griswald. Now Lieutenant Griswald was giving Gus a severe telling-off.
Lieutenant Griswald: Soldier Griswald, trouble! From here on out, you are not to fraternise with her at school, understand?
Gus: Um, well.
Lieutenant LaMaise was shocked and was upset with Lieutenant Griswald.
Lieutenant LaMaise: You're saying my girl's trouble?!
Now Lieutenant LaMaise was giving Cornchip Girl a severe telling-off.
Lieutenant LaMaise: Theresa, that tears it! As long as you're a student at this school! You'll have nothing to do with this roughhousing Griswald boy!
Cornchip Girl: But daddy, please.
Lieutenant LaMaise: That's an order! Now march!
Lieutenant Griswald: You too, private! Hup, two!
Then Gus and Cornchip Girl walked away from the waiting room with their angry fathers, and Clyde was now left alone. He continued crying and had to wait to be called to go to Principal Prickly's office.
Then Miss Lemon came.
Miss Lemon: Okay, Clyde Philmore! Principal Prickly needs you in his office immediately! Go there this instant!
Then Clyde walked over to Principal Prickly's office, crying.
Then Clyde entered Principal Prickly's office.
Principal Prickly: Say, Clyde? What brings you here? And why are you crying?
Clyde: I... I... I... I just bulled Cornchip Girl and stole her lunchbox from her, then I ate some of her crisps, and then I knocked her down.
Principal Prickly was shocked, and now he was giving Clyde a severe telling-off.
Principal Prickly: Clyde, you do not bully Theresa! You do not steal her lunch and eat some of her crisps nor knock her down! That's very unacceptable! This is a very serious situation, a very serious situation indeed! You do not bully another student, nor steal another student's lunch and eat another student's crisps, nor knocking another student down either!
Clyde: But sir! Gus knocked me down because I knocked Cornchip Girl first!
Principal Prickly: And you deserve it! You made Gus very angry because you bullied Theresa! You see bullying another student, stealing another student's lunch and eating another student's crisps and knocking another student down undermine authority. They demonstrate impertinence, disrespect, laziness.
Clyde: But sir! Gus needs to be punished for knocking me down!
Principal Prickly: Well, to be honest. I don't care! I'm not going to punish Gus because he did a brave thing! He punished you for hurting Theresa. Miss Finster will make sure Gus punished you for hurting Theresa. That's it, you are suspended for a week! Go home right now while I call your parents! After that, I will Miss Finster about what you did!
(We see Clyde's dad angry with a firey background surrounding him)
Clyde's dad: (Scary voice) Clyde, Clyde, Clyde, Clyde, Clyde, get over here right now!
Back home, Clyde's parents were furious with Clyde.
Clyde's dad: Clyde, how dare you bully Theresa LaMaise!? And what's worse, you stole her lunch and ate her crisps! You know that's a very bad thing to do that!
Clyde: But dad, Gus knocked me down, and he did it because I knocked Cornchip Girl first! Cornchip Girl is nothing a goody-goody pain in the...
Clyde's mum: And you deserve it! You made Gus very angry, and he had to knock you down because you knocked Theresa down first.
Clyde: But mum! Gus is stronger than me! He's nothing but a brat! He's one of my enemies and one of Gelman's enemies too! Gus is a cowardly brat!
Clyde's mum: No he's not! He's a brave boy, one of my favourite members of TJ and the gang, and the son of Lieutenant Colonel Griswald!
Clyde's dad: That's it, you are grounded, grounded, grounded for a week! And when you are grounded, you will go on a computer or play video games without games at all! You will watch shows you hate including Barney and Friends, Elmo's World, Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba! Now go to your room right now!
Clyde went to his room, crying.
Clyde: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I wish you were dead, mum and dad!
Clyde's parent were getting more annoyed at Clyde.
Clyde's dad: Ooooooooooooooooooh! Clyde, how dare you wish we were dead?! That's so freaking it, you are grounded, grounded, grounded for ten days!
Steven as Clyde Philmore
Evil Genius/David/Zack as Gus Griswald
Kayla as Cornchip Girl
Wiseguy as Miss Finster, Lieutenant LaMaise and Principal Prickly
Dallas (or Wiseguy) as Lieutenant Griswald
Kate as Miss Lemon
Diesel as Clyde's dad
Allison as Clyde's mum
Scary voice as Clyde's dad's angry voice
This episode is based on the Recess episode The Army Navy Game