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(inspired by Homer's flashback in the Simpsons episode Bye Bye Nerdie)

At the hallway in Third Street School, Lawson was talking to Johnny V. 

Lawson: Hey, Johnny V! Guess what?

Johnny V: What is it, Lawson? 

Lawson: We're going to show Morris P. Hingle performing a song. It's called Kung Fu Fighting!

Johnny V: Kung Fu Fighting! That's one of my favourite songs!

Lawson: Let's go to the music room and borrow a clarinet. 

Johnny V: Great idea.

Lawson and Johnny V went off to the music room, and then they entered the music room and then Lawson picked up a clarinet. 

Lawson: Here's a clarinet, Johnny V.

Johnny V: Thanks. 

Lawson: Let's get out of here before the music teacher gets us. 

Lawson and Johnny V left the music room and shut the door. 

Lawson: Now to find Morris!

Lawson and Johnny V went to find Morris P. Hingle, and then they found Morris P. Hingle.

Lawson: Hey, Hingle!

Morris: What?!

Lawson: Guess what?! Johnny V and I are going to play Kung Fu Fighting.

Morris: Oh boy! I love to perform Kung Fu! Is the song about kung fu?

Lawson: Yes! But you can't fight me! I'm tougher than you. Johnny V, you play the clarinet to the tone of the song, and I sing while bullying Johnny V.

Johnny V: Right, Lawson! Let's perform! 

Lawson: Time to pin you to the lockers, Hingle!

Morris: Nonononononononononononono! 

Lawson grabbed Morris and pinned him to the lockers. Lawson started bullying Morris by shaking him, and he started singing as Johnny V started playing a clarinet to the tune of Kung Fu Fighting. 

Lawson: Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah. Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah. Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah. Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah.

Lawson sang a chorus while punching Morris as Johnny V played a clarinet to the tune. 

Lawson: Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting. Those kids were fast as lightning. In fact, it was a little bit frightening. But they fought with expert timing. 

Lawson started karate-chopping, punching and kicking Morris as Johnny V played a clarinet to the tune. 

Lawson: There were funky China men from funky Chinatown. They were chopping them up. They were chopping them down. It's an ancient Chinese art. And everybody knew their part. From a feigning to a slip. And a kickin' from the hip. Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. HUH! Those kids were fast as lightning. In fact it was a little bit frightening. Oh yeah! But they fought with expert timing. There was funky Billie Chin and little Sammy Chong. He said, here comes the big boss. 

Johnny V: Where? Where?

Lawson: Let's get it on. We took the bow and made a stand. Started swaying with the hand. A sudden motion made me skip. Now we're into a brand new trip. Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. HA! Those kids were fast as lightning. HA! In fact it was a little bit frightening. HA! But they did it with expert timing. HA! Oh yeah! Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, HA! Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, HA! Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-HA! Keep on, keep on, keep on. Sure enough. Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. HA! Those kids were fast as lightning. HA! In fact it was a little bit frightening. HA! Make sure you have expert timing. HA! Oh. Kung Fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning. Keep on, keep on, keep on. Yeah, yeah. Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting. Those kids were fast as lightning.

Morris: Owww... I feel hurt. Ow. And my tooth fell out.

Lawson: Hahahahahahahahaha! You're in pain now! 

Johnny V: Oh boy. Your tooth has fallen out. That performance is awesome. 

Morris: I've got bruises all over. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Lawson: What's the matter, Morris? Don't you want to fight? 

Suddenly, Lawson heard someone screaming his name.

Voice: LAWSON! 

It was Miss Finster who was walking in, and then she approached Lawson. 

Miss Finster: Randall saw you bullying Morris while singing Kung Fu Fighting. Is this true?

Lawson: Yes, but that song is awesome.

Johnny V: Yeah, Morris' tooth came out. I've been playing a clarinet while Lawson is bullying Morris. 

Miss Finster was furious.

Miss Finster: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! Lawson, how dare you bully Morris while singing Kung Fu Fighting?! You call that a good performance? No! That's a bad performance! And Johnny V, where did you get the clarinet come from.

Johnny V: Um, um, me and Lawson found it in the music room. 

Miss Finster: Well, take it back to the music room. It's not your clarinet. 

Johnny V: (sadly) Yes, Miss Finster.

Johnny V walked off to take the clarinet back to the music room.

Miss Finster: And as for you, Lawson! Go to Principal Prickly's office right now!

Lawson went to Principal Prickly's office in disgrace, and then he entered Principal Prickly's office and confronted Principal Prickly. 

Principal Prickly: So, Lawson? Why are you here?

Lawson: I bullied Morris P. Hingle while singing Kung Fu Fighting. 

Principal Prickly was shocked, and he was infuriated with Lawson.

Principal Prickly: Lawson, how dare you bully Morris while singing Kung Fu Fighting?! This is a bad performance! This is a very serious situation. A very serious situation indeed. You don't ever bully another student while singing Kung Fu Fighting. You see bullying another student while singing Kung Fu Fighting undermines authority. It demonstrates impertinence, disrespect, laziness.

Lawson: But, sir. That was a great performance. I like that song!

Principal Prickly: I know you like that song! Now I can't keep up with you kids, and you did a bad performance. But Miss Finster assures me it's violent. That's it, you're suspended for a week! Go home right now!

Back home, Lawson's dad was extremely angry with Lawson.

Lawson's dad: Erwin, how dare you bullying Morris P. Hingle while singing Kung Fu Fighting?! You call that a good performance?! No! That's a bad performance! Besides, that's a violent thing to do! That's it, you're grounded, grounded, grounded for a week! Go upstairs to your room now!

Lawson went upstairs to his room, crying.

Lawson: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!



CAST

Eric as Lawson

Evil Genius/David/Zack as Johnny V

Brian as Morris P. Hingle

Wiseguy as Miss Finster, Principal Prickly and Mr Lawson (Lawson's dad)

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