In Penny's room, Penny was feeling upset. Then her older brother Kenny came.
Kenny: Penny, what's the matter?
Penny: That stupid fourth grader Gus Griswald and that stupid third grader Cornchip Girl wished poor Alice Emily Perkins cancer.
Penny: Yes. They made poor Alice cry. What shall we do, Kenny?
Kenny: I know, Penny. How about we give those doofuses a swirly?
Penny: That's a good idea, Kenny. We'll do it when we get to school tomorrow.
Tomorrow had arrived, in the hallway, Penny and Kenny confronted Gus Griswald and Cornchip Girl.
Penny: Gus and Cornchip Girl, how dare you wish Alice Emily Perkins cancer?!
Kenny: You know you can't do that at all.
Gus: But Penny and Kenny, Alice keeps grounding Kenward all the time.
Cornchip Girl: That's why we have to do that to her because our dads hate her.
Kenny: That's no excuses, you doofuses! You made poor Alice cry.
Penny: You know wishing Alice is a bad thing to do. That's it, we're going to give both of you a swirly! Now, Cornchip Girl, come with me!
Kenny: And, Griswald! Come with me!
Penny picked up Cornchip Girl and turned her upside-down, and Kenny picked up Gus and turned him upside-down.
Gus: Hey, what are you doing? Put us down!
Cornchip Girl: You'll get into trouble with your teachers!
Penny: Shut up, you annoying pipsqueaks! We're dragging you to the bathrooms!
So Penny and Kenny dragged Gus and Cornchip Girl to the bathrooms and then they reached the bathrooms. Penny dragged Cornchip Girl inside the Girls Bathroom and Kenny dragged Gus inside the Boys Bathroom. In the Girls Bathroom, Penny walked over to one of the toilets.
Penny: Time to give you a swirly in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0!
Penny started giving Cornchip Girl a swirly. In the Boys Bathroom, Kenny walked over to one one of the toilets.
Kenny: Time to give you a swirly in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0!
Kenny started giving Gus a swirly. In the Girls Bathroom, Penny kept on dipping Cornchip Girl in the toilet.
Cornchip Girl: Help! Help! Penny's dipping me in the toilet! HELP!
In the Boys Bathroom, Kenny kept on dipping Gus in the toilet.
Gus: Help! Help! Kenny's dipping me in the toilet! HELP!
Outside the bathrooms, TJ, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen and Mikey were hearing Gus and Cornchip Girl screaming.
TJ: Oh no! Those bullies are giving Gus and Cornchip Girl a swirly! This is so disgusting!
Spinelli: Good sweet Mike! Why we ought to give those bullies a roasting!
Gretchen: Quite right, Spinelli! They'll get into trouble with Miss Finster!
Vince: Let's go speak to her at once!
Mikey: Good idea, Vince!
So TJ, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen and Mikey rushed to find Miss Finster. Then Penny stopped dipping Cornchip Girl in the toilet, and Kenny stopped dipping Gus in the toilet.
Penny: That's what you get for wishing Alice cancer.
Penny dragged Cornchip Girl out of the Girls Bathroom.
Kenny: That's what you get for wishing Alice cancer.
Kenny dragged Gus out of the Boys Bathroom. Penny and Kenny dropped Gus and Cornchip Girl to the floor.
Gus: Oh no! We're covered in toilet water.
Cornchip Girl: Ew! We're covered in germs.
Penny: Ha! Take that, you stupid third grader!
Kenny: Ha! Take that, you stupid fourth grader!
Then suddenly, TJ, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen and Mikey came, much to Penny and Kenny's horror.
TJ: Gus and Cornchip Girl, are you alright?
Gus: No, that mean fifth grade girl Penny and her brother from sixth grade Kenny gave us the swirly.
Cornchip Girl: And now we're covered in toilet water and germs, thanks to them.
TJ: Oh no! This is so terrible! Thanks for telling us!
Then TJ, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen and Mikey glared at Penny and Kenny.
TJ: Penny and Kenny, how dare you give Gus and Cornchip Girl a swirly?!
Vince: You know you can't do that at all!
Spinelli: Now Gus and Cornchip Girl are covered in toilet water and germs, thanks to you!
Gretchen: You should be ashamed of yourselves!
Mikey: That's it, you two are in big trouble! Penny, your teacher Miss Finster will punish you! And Kenny, your teacher Mr Lee will punish you.
Gretchen: Mikey's right, you two are going to be punished.
Miss Finster came.
Miss Finster: What is going on in here?
Then Miss Finster noticed that Gus and Cornchip Girl were covered in toilet water and germs.
Miss Finster: Good sweet Mike! What happened to you, Griswald and LaMaise?!
Gus: Well, you're going to be furious when we say this.
Cornchip Girl: Your student Penny and Mr Lee's student Kenny gave us the swirly. And now we're covered in water toilet and germs, and it's all their fault.
Miss Finster: Did they? Good sweet Mike! Thanks for telling me! I'll give them a roasting!
Mr Lee rushed in.
Mr Lee: What is going on, Muriel?
Miss Finster: Eugene, your student Kenny and my student Penny just gave Gus Griswald and Theresa LaMaise a swirly!
Mr Lee: Oh no! This is terrible!
Miss Finster and Mr Lee glared at Penny and Kenny.
Miss Finster: Penny and Kenny, how dare you give Gus and Theresa a swirly?! You two know you can't do that at all.
Penny: But Miss Finster, they wished Alice Emily Perkins a cancer.
Kenny: Yeah, those two needed to be taught a lesson. That's why we have to give those doofuses a swirly.
Mr Lee: You two shouldn't have done that! Kenny, you have been a bad boy! This is worse than giving Colby a swirly!
Miss Finster: That's it, both of you! Go to Principal Prickly's office! Now!
Penny and Kenny went to Principal Prickly's office in disgrace.
TJ: It's okay, Gus and Cornchip Girl. Those mean bullies are going straight to Principal Prickly's office.
Gus: Thanks for helping us.
Cornchip Girl: Those guys will be suspended for their terrible behaviour.
In Principal Prickly's office, Penny and Kenny confronted Principal Prickly.
Principal Prickly: So, Penny and Kenny? What brings both of you here in my office?
Penny: We gave Gus and Cornchip Girl a swirly.
Kenny: It's because they wished cancer on Alice Emily Perkins.
Principal Prickly was furious, and threw a fit.
Principal Prickly: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! Penny and Kenny, I can't believe you gave poor Gus and Theresa a swirly! You know it's not nice to do that! You two are a disgrace to this school! That's it, you're suspended for four days! Go home right now while a call your parents!
Penny and Penny went home in disgrace. Back home, Penny and Kenny's parents scolded Penny and Kenny.
Penny and Kenny's dad: Penny and Kenny, how dare you give Gus and Theresa a swirly?!
Penny and Kenny's dad: You know you can't do that at all!
Penny: But mum and dad, they wished Alice Emily Perkins cancer.
Kenny: And that's why we have to teach Gus and Cornchip Girl a lesson by giving a swirly.
Penny and Kenny's dad: You two should be ashamed of yourselves? Now, Gus and Theresa need a wash, thanks to you! That's it, both of you are grounded, grounded, grounded for four days!
Penny and Kenny's mum: Go to your rooms right now!
Penny and Kenny went to their rooms, crying.
Penny and Kenny: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Penny: F*** YOU, GUS GRISWALD!
Kenny: AND F*** YOU, CORNCHIP GIRL!
Emma as Penny
Brian as Kenny
Evil Genius/David/Zack as Gus Griswald
Kayla as Cornchip Girl
Eric as TJ Detweiler
Julie as Spinelli
Amy as Gretchen Grundler
Paul as Vince LaSSao
Joey as Mikey Blumberg
Wiseguy as Miss Finster and Principal Prickly
Steven as Mr Lee
Dallas as Penny and Kenny's dad
Catherine as Penny and Kenny's mum