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In the Chop Chop, in the lounge, Phineas T. Ratchet was watching TV.

Ratchet: Let's see what's on TV.

Then Ratchet turned on the TV.

TV Announcer: Coming up next is Barney and Friends on PBS Kids.

Ratchet: (in Kidaroo voice) NO!

TV Announcer: Yes.

Barney the Dinosaur was singing to the children.

Barney: I love you, you love me. We're a happy family, with a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me too? 

Ratchet was furious. 

Ratchet: Ooooooooooooooooooh! I hate Barney! Barney is a stupid dinosaur! Let's see to kill him! And I'm going to the PBS Kids Studios right now! 

Then Ratchet rushed out of the lounge, and then he ran off to the PBS Kids Studios, and then he entered it. Ratchet ran through the hallway, and he entered the room where Barney was. 

Ratchet: Prepare to die, Barney the Stupid Dinosaur!

Barney began to sing to Ratchet. 

Barney: I love you, you love me. We're best friends like friends should be. 

Ratchet cut Barney off, by aiming his gun at him who was horrified. 

Ratchet: No! I'm here to kill you! 

Barney was shocked. Then he started cowering. The children were horrified. 

Barney: No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no! Please don't shoot Barney! Please don't shoot Barney! Noonoonoo! 

Ratchet: Too bad! I hate Barney the Purple Dinosaur! So goodbye forever. 

Ratchet began to sing his parody of Barney's I Love You Song by shooting Barney. 

Ratchet: I hate you, you hate me. Let's get to together and kill Barney, with 8, 2, 3, 4, 3, 4, 4. No more stupid purple dinosaur! 

Barney fell to the floor - dead. The children started crying. Ratchet cheered.

Ratchet: Yay! I killed Barney instead! No more Barney! No more stupid purple dinosaur!

One of the girls: He's killed Barney! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Ratchet: Sorry kids. Barney is going to be melted down for meat and upgrades. 

Then Ratchet carried Barney's corpse out of the room, and then he entered the head's room. 

Ratchet met the head of the PBS Kids Studios.

Head of the PBS Kids Studios: So Ratchet, what brings you here?

Ratchet: I killed Barney the more like stupid purple dinosaur!

The head of the PBS Kids Studios was furious.

Head of the PBS Kids Studios: Ooooooooooooooh! Ratchet, how dare you kill Barney?! That's it, you are suspended for 100 decades! Go home right now!

Ratchet: Fine! I'm taking his corpse home! 

Then Ratchet stormed off, and he carried Barney's corpse all the way back home. Ratchet put the corpse on the conveyer belt. Ratchet started singing his parody of Barney's I Love You Song, while the corpse of Barney was shredded by the Choppers and was conveyed to the furnace to be melted down for meat and upgrades.

Ratchet: I hate you, you hate me. Let's get together and melt Barney down, into upgrades and meat in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! No more stupid purple dinosaur! 

Then the meat and upgrades were manufactored. 

Ratchet: Hahahahahahaha! Yay! Barney is dead forever! Now I've got meat to eat for dinner and upgrades to get. 

At the lounge, Madame Gasket was furious with her son Ratchet, as well as indignant about Barney's death. 

Madame Gasket: Ratchet, how dare you kill Barney and melt him down for upgrades or meat!? He is one of my favourite TV characters! Organic people are raw, not junk or pieces of scrap metal! That's it, you are grounded, grounded, grounded for life! Your punishment is to watch the repeated episodes of Barney for the rest of your life!

Ratchet started protesting.

Ratchet: No no no no no no no no no! I hate Barney! Barney is a stupid purple dinosaur!

Madame Gasket: I don't care! I would normally say go to your room! Now start watching the repeated episodes of Barney right now, or else you will end up like your father! 

Then Ratchet did as he was told. 




CAST

Dave as Phineas T. Ratchet

Kidaroo (or Wiseguy) as Madame Gasket, Barney and Ratchet's angry voice 

Princess as TV Announcer and the Head of the PBS Kids Studios. 

Shy Girl as one of the girls

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