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TranscriptEdit

At the lounge of the Chop Shop, Madame Gasket was talking to Ratchet. 

Madame Gasket: Hey Ratchet! I'm going on holiday in Florida. I have hired a babysitter to watch you. You're going to have a babysitter while I'm on holiday in Florida, okay! 

Ratchet: Okay!

Madame Gasket: And you promise to be on your best behaviour!

Ratchet: Okay!

Madame Gasket: Oh! Here comes the babysitter! 

Ratchet: I hope it isn't Dr Nefarious Tropy!

Madame Gasket: You will see!

Just then, Dr Neo Cortex came.

Ratchet: Oh no! It's Dr Neo Cortex from the Crash Bandicoot series!

Madame Gasket: Dr Neo Cortex, you're here! You're right on time! (to Ratchet) Ratchet, this is Dr Neo Cortex! He will be your babysitter to look after you. 

Cortex: That's right! I'm to look after you while your mom's on holiday. 

Madame Gasket: And one more thing, Cortex. Don't let him watch Sausage Party, South Park, South Park: Longer, Bigger and Uncut and other shows that are Rated R, understand?

Cortex: Yes! 

Madame Gasket: Okay! See you when I come back!

Cortex: OK! Bye!

Madame Gasket went away. 

Cortex: Okay Phineas T. Ratchet! If you get bored, you're going to watch Sesame Street! Okay?

Ratchet: No! I hate Sesame Street It's super lame! I want to watch South Park! 

Cortex: Ratchet, you're too young to watch that show! I forbid you to watch it! You have to watch Sesame Street! 

Ratchet: No! I want South Park! 

Then Ratchet outran Cortex, and Cortex started chasing after Ratchet.

Cortex: Ratchet! Get over here now!  

Ratchet got into his room and he got onto the computer and he went on the Internet to watch something. Then Cortex caught up with him and he warned him. 

Cortex: You may only watch Sesame Street for the rest of your life! 

Then Cortex left. Ratchet was feeling annoyed.

Ratchet: I hate Sesame Street! It's too boring! I'm going to unblock South Park!

Then Ratchet unblocked South Park. 

Ratchet: Yeah! Finally! Rules is for fools! 

Ratchet began to watch South Park, and then Cortex came. 

Cortex: Did I just hear you watch South Park? Let me see this! 

Then Cortex noticed that South Park was on screen. 

Cortex: Ratchet! I told you to watch Sesame Street! That's it! It's time for your spanking! 

Ratchet: If you want to spank me! Catch me first! Then Ratchet ran out of his room by outrunning his babysitter. Cortex was chasing after Ratchet. 

Cortex: Ratchet, get back here now! 

Ratchet ran downstairs on the way to the processing area. 

Cortex: Get back here, Ratchet! I'm not playing! 

Ratchet reached his way to the processing area.

Cortex: Ratchet, get over here this instant! 

Then Ratchet made it to the processing area. 

Ratchet: Phew, I made it to the processing area. Now I can confront Cortex. 

Then Cortex came up to Ratchet. 

Cortex: Get back here, Ratchet!

Ratchet: Stop right there, you bulbous-headed small fry! I'm sick and tired of you ordering me around! This is the last straw! I'm going to melt you down for upgrades and meat!

Cortex was horrified. 

Cortex: No no no no no! Please don't melt me down for upgrades and meat! 

Ratchet: Too bad! I'm taking you up to the conveyer belt!

Ratchet picked up Cortex and dragged him on his way to the conveyer belt, kicking and screaming. 

Cortex: (Homer's voice) Heh no ho ho ho ho ho ho! Heh NOOO! NO HEH HEH! HEH! OH! Oh, for the love of... eh heh heh heh heh! 

Then Ratchet made it to the conveyer belt, and placed Cortex on it. 

Ratchet: Time to die, Cortex! 

Then Cortex was conveyed towards the Choppers.

Ratchet: Choppers! Chop him! Shred him to pieces!

Choppers including Forge: Yes sir!

Cortex: (in Kidaroo voice) NO NO NO NO NO NO! 

The Choppers began to shred Cortex to pieces.

Cortex: (in Kidaroo voice) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Then Cortex was in pieces, and then all the remains of Cortex were conveyed towards the furnace and went inside it. The remains of Cortex were melted down... INTO UPGRADES AND MEAT! Then some upgrades and meat products including steak were conveyed out of the processing tube, and Cortex looked at some meat products. Then Cortex cheered.

Ratchet: Yay! Cortex is dead for good! Now everyone can eat meat! Now he won't bother me again. He can shine no matter what he's made of. Heeheehee! Now I can watch South Park in peace!

Then Ratchet went back to his room to watch South Park. Then one week later, Madame Gasket came back home.

Madame Gasket: Ratchet, I'm home! 

Then Ratchet walked up to Madame Gasket.

Madame Gasket: Hey! Where's Dr Neo Cortex? Where's your babysitter?

Ratchet: Um, um, um, um... you're not going to be happy when I tell you this. I melted Cortex down for upgrades and meat. 

Madame Gasket was horrified, and then she was very annoyed and upset with Ratchet.

Madame Gasket: Oooooooooooooooooh! Ratchet, how dare you melt your own babysitter down for upgrades and meat!? You know you can't do that! And you know that Cortex is raw like other organic people, not junk or pieces of scrap metal! He's not a robot! He's an organic person, do you understand? That's it, you're grounded grounded grounded for ten days! Your punishment is to go to his funeral! Come with me right now!

Then Ratchet and Madame Gasket went out of the Chop Shop and they got into the car. Then Madame Gasket drove her car all the way to the church. Then Madame Gasket and Ratchet arrived at the church and they went inside it. Dr Nefarious Tropy was at the podium and he was sad. Uka Uka, Nina Cortex, N Gin, Dr Nitrus Brio, Tiny Tiger, Dingodile, Ripto, Crush, Gulp, Malefor, Gnasty and Kaos were sobbing. N Tropy had an announcement.

N Tropy: We gather on his day to honour the life of Dr Noe Cortex. Dr Neo Cortex was the best friend of ours ever. Me and Cortex make a great time. We work for our boss Uka Uka. Cortex sometimes lets Uka Uka down, and he looks after his niece Nina and treats her well. But he'll be missed by all, but he will be remembered. Please feel free to come up to the podium to tell us what you remember our beloved Dr Neo Cortex. 

Then Uka Uka flew up to the podium.

Uka Uka; Dr Neo Cortex is the best assistant I have ever had. He assists and leads my other assistants N Tropy, N Gin and N Brio. He loves to babysit everyone, and he sometimes treats Nina well. I miss Cortex so much. 

N Gin: So did I. We miss our friend Cortex.

N Brio: He is the best friend that me, N Gin and Tropy have ever had. 

Tiny Tiger and Dingodile were sobbing. 

Tiny: Cortex is like a father to me and Dingodile. 

Dingodile: I agree! We lost our master! He cooks us some dinner and also with a help of Uka Uka. 

Tiny: Cortex is the best master to me and Dingodile we have ever had! Tiny miss Cortex! 

Dingodile: So do I? 

N Tropy: Nina, feel free to come up to the podium to tell us what you remember your uncle? 

(Nina Cortex walked up to the podium.)

Nina: Uncle Cortex was the best uncle I have ever had. He looks after me well, Uka Uka protects me and my uncle. He used to tuck me in at night and read me some bedtime stories. I miss Uncle Cortex so much! Waaaaaaaaaa!

N Gin: This is sad! Waaaaaaaaaa! I miss Cortex so much, he is a good friend of mine!

Ripto: And I miss Cortex too! Cortex and I were good friends! We work together as a team!

Kaos: Yeah, Cortex was a good friend of ours! We go out together! 

Tiny: Crush! Gulp! Dingodile and I miss Cortex so much! Waaaaaaa!

Dingodile: Waaaaaaaaaaa! I miss Cortex so much! He's like a father to both of us!

Crush: Don't cry, TIny and Dingodile! Cortex will be watching us. 

Gulp: If our boss Ripto dies... then me and Crush will not have a boss to be looked after anymore, and we will have to look after ourselves. 

Crush: I agree, Gulp. If we lost Ripto, then we'll fend for ourselves.

Gnasty Gnorc: Man! Cortex's death was such a tragedy! It's tragic, Ripto!

Ripto: Yeah, Gnasty. I know it's tragic! We are all going to miss him.

Kaos: I agree! We are all going to miss him. 

Malefor: Yes, he is a good friend to us! Cortex was a good friend to Ripto, and he and Ripto use to do things together. And now, times have changed. Cortex has died, this is tragic!

Uka Uka: Our friend Cortex has died. His job is to babysit Madame Gasket's son Phineas T. Ratchet. But Ratchet has melted him down for meat and upgrades. It is tragic. 

N Tropy: Yes, very tragic! We are all going to miss him so much. He will rest in peace, and he will be watching us from heaven.

Angrily, Ratchet got off the seat, and walked up to the podium.

Ratchet: Well I disagree! I don't know where you guys are getting your information from! Cortex is such a snitch. He will burn in hell! Why? Because he keeps annoying me, and he was nothing but a geek and a pain in the butt! He tells people what to do, and he was so stupid! I hate him! He sucks! And I hate him more! He can shine no matter what he's made of in hell! Cortex is gone forever! He's dead forever, and and he will rot in hell forever!

Everyone was very angry about Ratchet's speech, including Madame Gasket. Then Madame Gasket rushed over to Ratchet, and she was extremely annoyed and upset with Ratchet. 

Madame Gasket: Ooooooooooooooh! Ratchet, how dare you disrespect Cortex's funeral?! That's it! Let's get home now!

Back at the Chop Shop, Madame Gasket continued scolding Ratchet.

Madame Gasket: Oooooooooooooooh! Ratchet, how dare you disrespect Cortex's funeral?! That's it, you are grounded, grounded, grounded for a month with no TV, no computer, no Unreal Tournament 3, no video games, no nothing! Go to your room now! Or else you will end up like your father!

Ratchet went to his room, crying.

Ratchet: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! This is so unfair!

Madame Gasket: You know what's unfair! Melting Cortex down for meat and upgrades and disrespecting his funeral, that's why!  


CASTEdit

Dave as Phineas T. Ratchet, Chopper and Dr Nefarious Tropy

Kidaroo (or Wiseguy) as Madame Gasket

Simon as Dr Neo Cortex

Young Guy as Forge and N Gin

Eric as Chopper 

Paul as Chopper

Brian as Chopper

Wiseguy as Uka Uka

Kimberly as Nina Cortex

Lawrence as Dr Nitrus Brio, Dingodile and Kaos

Scary voice as Tiny Tiny, Crush, Gulp, Malefor and Gnasty Gnorc

Professor as Ripto



Homer's kicking and screaming from the Simpsons episode King Size Homer was used as Cortex was dragged by Phineas T. Ratchet on his way to the conveyer belt, kicking and screaming.

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