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Miss Finster was teaching her 5th Grade Students some maths lessons.

Miss Finster: Okay, class, let's start the day with a few new math problems. What is five times two? Come on, class, don't be shy. Just give it your best shot.

Adam Abel raised his hand.

Miss Finster: Yes, Adam?

Adam: Twelve?

Miss Finster: Okay. Now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete idiot. Anyone? Come on, don't be shy.

Penny: I think I know the answer, Miss Finster.

Rachel Hart mocked Penny in a high-pitched, gibberish voice.

Rachel: Meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh.

Penny: Shut up, Powderpuff!

Rachel: [enraged] HEY! DON'T CALL ME POWDERPUFF, YA F***ING FOUR EYES!

Miss Finster was shocked and horrified.

Miss Finster: Rachel, did you just say the F-word??

Rachel: Four eyes?

Penny: No, she's talking about f***. You can't say f*** in school, you f***ing blondie. 

Miss Finster: Penny!

Rachel: Why the f***not?

Miss Finster: Rachel!

Sue Bob: Rachel, you just said f*** again!

Miss Finster: Sue Bob!

Kurst: F***.

Miss Finster: Kurst!

Rachel: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. F***, f****ity-f***-f***-f***.

Miss Finster: How would you like to go see Principal Prickly?

Rachel: How would you like to suck my b****.

Everyone gasped in shock.

Miss Finster: [furiously] WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?

Rachel: Oh, I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was:

Then Rachel picked up a megaphone and cleared her throat.

Rachel: 'How would you like to suck my b****, Miss Finster?'

Miss Finster stood rooted to the spot, furiously frozen in shock.

Sue Bob: Holy s***, Rachel.

Miss Finster: Alright, that's it! It's the principal's office for you four, now march!

Then Rachel, Penny, Sue Bob and Kurst went to Prickly's office in disgrace, and Kenny, Ted and Marvin sat in the chair in front of Principal Prickly's office and grunted.

Inside Prickly's office, Principal Prickly was very upset with Rachel, Penny, Sue Bob and Kurst.

Principal Prickly: Well, I must say, I'm very disappointed in you girls, okay? You should be ashamed of yourselves. Now, I've already called in your mothers--

Penny: [shocked] You called my mom?!

Principal Prickly: That's right.

Penny: [terrified] Oh, no, dude!

Rachel: Principal Prickly, can I ask a question?

Principal Prickly: Okay, what?

Rachel: What's the big f***ing deal, b****?

Sue Bob: Yeah!

Principal Prickly: Aah! N-Now I want to know where you heard these horrific obscenities, okay?

Sue Bob: Nowhere.

Penny: Uh, we heard them from Miss Finster a few times before.

Sue Bob: Yeah!

Principal Prickly: Girls, I seriously doubt that Miss Finster ever said, uh, "Eat penguin s***, you a**-spelunker".

Rachel, Penny, Sue Bob and Kurst started laughing.

Rachel: He-he-he-he! Sweet!

Principal Prickly: All right, that's it! I've had enough of all your foul profanity! I have no choice but to suspend you for two weeks!

The door suddenly slammed opened, and Rachel, Penny, Sue Bob and Kurst's mothers came in, not looking happy at all.

Sue Bob: Uh-oh.

Principal Prickly: Thank you all for coming on such short notice.

Sue Bob's mum: This just isn't like you, Sue Bob.

Kurst's mum: You neither, Kirsten.

Penny's mum: What did my daughter say, Principal Prickly? Did she say the S-Word?

Principal Prickly: No, it was worse than that.

Penny's mum: The F-Word?!

Principal Prickly: Here's a list of the things they've been saying. Okay?

All the moms looked at the list.

Sue Bob's mum: Oh, dear God.

Penny's mum: What the heck is a rim job?

Rachel's mum: Why, that's when you put your legs behind your head and have someone lick your a**.

The others stared at Rachel's mum while Penny's mother frowned in anger and disgust at Rachel's mum.

Penny's mum: Young lady, you will tell Principal Prickly this instant where you heard all these horrible phrases!

Penny: I--I--

Sue Bob: We can't tell you. We all took a sacred oath, and swore ourselves to secrecy.

Rachel: It was the TV show called South Park.

Sue Bob: Rachel!

Rachel: What? F*** you, girls. I wanna get out of here.

Penny's mum: South Park? That TV show?!

Principal Prickly: Excuse me, what the heck is South Park?

Penny's mum: South Park is a very inappropriate, profane and dodgy TV show on Comedy Central about little 4th grade children! Nothing but foul language and toilet humor!

Principal Prickly: Well, I guess I'll have to send a warning letter out to parents before more children see South Park.

Rachel: Everybody's f***in' seein' it.

Rachel's mum: [angrily] Rachel!

Rachel: I'm sorry, I can't help myself: That show has warped my fragile little mind.

Sue Bob's mum: Come on, Sue Bob. Let's go home, you're grounded for two weeks, which means no TV and no pocket money until you're ungrounded.

Kurst's mum: You too, Kirsten. Let's go home, you're grounded for two weeks, which means no TV and no pocket money until you're ungrounded.

Penny's mum: You three, Penny. Let's go home, you're grounded for two weeks, which means no TV and no pocket money until you're ungrounded.

Rachel's mum: You four, Rachel. Let's go home, you're grounded for two weeks, which means no TV and no pocket money until you're ungrounded.

Then Rachel, Penny, Sue Bob and Kurst went home with their angry mothers in disgrace, crying.




CAST

Wiseguy as Miss Finster and Principal Prickly

Steven as Adam Abel

Julie as Rachel Hart

Emma as Penny

Kendra as Sue Bob Murphy and Mrs Hart (Rachel's mum

Kimberly as Kurst the Worst 

Catherine as Sue Bob's mum and Penny's mum

Susan as Mrs Kurst (Kurst's mum)

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