Miss Grotke was teaching her 4th Grade Students some maths lessons.

Miss Grotke: Okay, class, let's start the day with a few new math problems. What is five times two? Come on, class, don't be shy. Just give it your best shot.

Mikey Blumberg (one of TJ's friends) raised his hand.

Miss Grotke: Yes, Mikey?

Mikey: Twelve?

Miss Grotke: Okay. Now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete idiot. Anyone? Come on, don't be shy.

Ashley B: I think I know the answer, Miss Grotke.

Ashley A mocked Ashley B in a high-pitched, gibberish voice.

Ashley A: Neh neh neh neh neh neh neh neh neh neh neh neh.

Ashley B: Shut up, Snobbypants!


Miss Grotke was shocked and horrified.

Miss Grotke: Ashley Armbruster, did you just say the F-word??

Ashley A: African-American part French snob?

Ashley B: No, she's talking about f***. You can't say f*** in school, you f***ing moron. 

Miss Grotke: Ashley Boulet!

Ashley A: Why the f***not?

Miss Grotke: Ashley Armbruster!

Ashley Q: Ashley A, you just said f*** again!

Miss Grotke: Ashley Quinlan!

Ashley T: F***.

Miss Grotke: Ashley Tomassian!

Ashley A: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. F***, f****ity-f***-f***-f***.

Miss Grotke: How would you like to go to the principal's office?

Ashley A: How would you like to suck my b****.

Everyone gasped in shock.

Miss Grotke: [horrified] WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?

Ashley A: Oh, I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was:

Then Ashley A picked up a megaphone and cleared her throat.

Ashley A: 'How would you like to suck my b****, Miss Grotke?'

Miss Grotke stood rooted to the spot, dismayed and frozen in shock.

Ashley Q: Holy s***, Ashley A.

Miss Grotke: Alright, that's it! Go to the principal's office right now!

Then the Ashleys went to Principal Prickly's office in disgrace, and Koreo sat in the chair in front of Principal Prickly's office and grunted.

Inside Prickly's office, Principal Prickly was very upset with the Ashleys. 

Principal Prickly: Well, I must say, I'm very disappointed in you girls, okay? You should be ashamed of yourselves. Now, I've already called in your mothers--

Ashley B: [shocked] You called my mom?!

Principal Prickly: That's right.

Ashley B: [terrified] Oh, no, Principal Prickly!

Ashley A: Principal Prickly, can I ask a question?

Principal Prickly: Okay, what?

Ashley A: What's the big f***ing deal, b****?

Ashley Q: Yeah!

Principal Prickly: Aah! N-Now I want to know where you heard these horrific obscenities, okay?

Ashley Q: Nowhere.

Ashley B: Uh, we heard them from Miss Grotke a few times before.

Ashley Q: Yeah!

Principal Prickly: Girls, I seriously doubt that Miss Grotke ever said, uh, "Eat penguin s***, you a**-spelunker".

The Ashleys started laughing.

Ashley A: He-he-he-he! Sweet!

Ashleys: Scandalous! He-he-he-he! Ooooh, f***alous! 

Principal Prickly: All right, that's it! I've had enough of all your foul profanity! I have no choice but to suspend you for two weeks!

The door suddenly slammed opened, and the Ashleys' mothers came in, not looking happy at all.

Ashley T: Uh-oh.

Principal Prickly: Thank you all for coming on such short notice.

Mrs Quinlan: This just isn't like you, Ashley.

Mrs Tomassian: You neither, Ashley.

Mrs Boulet: What did my daughter say, Principal Prickly? Did she say the S-Word?

Principal Prickly: No, it was worse than that.

Mrs Boulet: The F-Word?!

Principal Prickly: Here's a list of the things they've been saying. Okay?

All the moms looked at the list.

Mrs Quinlan: Oh, dear God.

Mrs Boulet: What the heck is a rim job? It is not scandalous enough!

Mrs Armbruster: Why, that's when you put your legs behind your head and have someone lick your a**.

The others stared at Mrs Armbruster while Mrs Boulet frowned in anger and disgust at Mrs Armbruster.

Mrs Boulet: Young lady, you will tell Principal Prickly this instant where you heard all these horrible phrases!

Ashley B: I--I--

Ashley Q: We can't tell you. We all took a sacred oath, and swore ourselves to secrecy.

Ashley A: It was the TV show called South Park.

Ashley Q: Ashley A!

Ashley A: What? F*** you, girls. I wanna get out of here.

Mrs Boulet: South Park? That TV show?!

Principal Prickly: Excuse me, what the heck is South Park?

Mrs Boulet: South Park is a very inappropriate, profane and not-so-scandalous TV show on Comedy Central about little 4th grade children! Nothing but foul language and toilet humor!

Principal Prickly: Well, I guess I'll have to send a warning letter out to parents before more children see South Park.

Ashley A: Everybody's f***in' seein' it.

Mrs Armbruster: [angrily] Ashley!

Ashley A: I'm sorry, I can't help myself: That show has warped my fragile little mind.

Mrs Quinlan: Come on, Ashley. Let's go home, you're grounded for two weeks, which means no TV and no pocket money until you're ungrounded.

Mrs Tomassian: You too, Ashley. Let's go home, you're grounded for two weeks, which means no TV and no pocket money until you're ungrounded.

Mrs Boulet: You three, Ashley. Let's go home, you're grounded for two weeks, which means no TV and no pocket money until you're ungrounded.

Mrs Armbruster: You four, Ashley. Let's go home, you're grounded for two weeks, which means no TV and no pocket money until you're ungrounded.

Then the Ashleys went home with their angry mothers in disgrace, crying.


Julie as Miss Grotke

Emma as Ashley Armbruster

Amy as Ashley Boulet

Allison as Ashley Quinlan

Salli as Ashley Tomassian

Joey as Mikey Blumberg

Wiseguy as Principal Prickly

Kate as Mrs Armbruster   

Veena as Mrs Boulet

Kimberley as Mrs Quinlan

Kendra as Mrs Tomassian

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.