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(inspired by South Park)

At the Third Street Playground, the Ashleys had got iPads.

Ashley A: Oh my God, isn't it awesome having iPads, you guys? 

Gretchen walked by, and the Ashleys walked up to approach her. 

Ashley A: Hey Gretchen, where's your iPad?

Ashley B: Oh right, you're not cool enough!

Ashley Q: Yeah, not cool enough!

The Ashleys laughed at Gretchen, and Gretchen walked off disgusted.

Ashleys: Ooh, scandalous! 

Vince walked by. 

Ashley A: Hey, hey, did you see our iPads, Vince?

Ashley B: Funny, you don't seem to have one! We thought your family was rich! 

Vince walked on, but was puzzled by the Ashleys' behaviour. The Ashleys saw TJ, Spinelli, Mikey and Gus playing four-square and jeered at them. 

Ashley Q:​​​ Haha! You dumba**** have to play four-square 'cause you don't have iPads! 

The Ashleys checked their iPad and started pacing. 

Ashley A:​​​ Oh, what should we do on our iPads next?

Ashley B: Think we'll email some of our friends.

Ashley Q: Oh no, wait, girls! Maybe we'll download some more cool apps! 

Ashley T: Yeah!

Ashleys: Ooh, scandalous!

The Ashleys smiled, and TJ came up behind them. 

Ashley A: This is so awesome!

TJ tapped Ashley A on the shoulder and the Ashleys turned around.

TJ: Spinelli says you don't really have iPads.

The Ashleys stared at TJ for a second.

Ashley A: What? 

TJ: Spinelli says you just glued pieces of glass to iPad covers and you're faking it.

The Ashleys looked at TJ, then looked around to see if anyone was within earshot. 

Ashley A: Principal Prickly is an alcoholic who drinks and drives!

Spinelli: Let me see your iPads, Ashleys. 

Ashley A: Seriously you guys! Principal Prickly is a drunk driver. He's the one who crashes into his brother's house with his car!

TJ looked off into the distance, surprised.

Mikey: Just let us see your iPad, Ashleys.

Ashley B: No, because the batteries are dead; they just ran out of power!

Gus: So, plug it in.

Ashley Q: We left our chargers at home! 

Then Gretchen looked at the Ashleys' iPads, and she was shocked.

Then she started teasing about the Ashleys.

Gretchen: Hey guys, the Ashleys just glued the glasses to the iPad covers and they're faking them.

Everyone was still waiting, and then they started laughing at the Ashleys. The Ashleys were furious. 

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) Stop laughing at us! Fine! We're gonna go home and charge our iPads and bring them tomorrow, and you guys are gonna feel really stupid! We're going to get new iPads at the Apple Store, no matter what!

TJ: As if?

Ashley A: Come on Ashleys, let's go tell Miss Finster!

Ashley B: Good idea!

Ashley Q: Let's go!

Ashley T: Yeah!

The Ashleys walked away angrily, and then they walked up to Miss Finster. 

Miss Finster: Hey girls! What happened? And why are you all mad?

Ashley A: Miss Finster, we've been completely screwed over! 

Ashley B: Yeah, we're screwed!

Ashley Q: So screwed!

Ashley T: Yeah, this whomps! So whomps! 

Miss Finster: What happened, Ashleys?

Ashley A: All the losers make fun of us because our iPads are fake. So we don't have real iPads.

Ashley B: So the ones we rubbed in everyone's faces today aren't real and tomorrow everyone's gonna call us liars.

Ashley Q: Would you mind loaning us some of your lipstick, Miss Finster?

Ashley T: Yeah, do it! 

Ashley A: Because we want to at least look pretty the next time you decide to F*** us! So, why don't you go f*** yourself!

Ashley B: Yeah!

Miss Finster was annoyed at the Ashleys.

Miss Finster: Hey! You don't have to talk to me like that! And don't swear at me either! You may go to Principal Prickly's office for this! Now what do you Ashleys want? 

Ashley A: Would you take us to the Apple Store so we can get an iPad Air for each of us when school is finished at 3?

Miss Finster: Fine, we will go to the Apple Store tomorrow.

Ashley A: Yeah. Besides, our parents told us we already have iPad Mini 2s and Samsung Galaxy Tablets!

Miss Finster: Fine, if you get an iPad Air for each of you more than both, I'll get one for each of you.

Back in Ashley A's house, Ashley A's parents were talking to Ashley A. 

Mr Armbruster: Okay, Ashley. Miss Finster is coming to pick you up and she's going to babysit you and your friends and take you to the Apple Store.

Mrs Armbruster: So behave while you're with Miss Finster, okay?

Ashley A: Okay!

Then Miss Finster came. 

Miss Finster: Hello, Mr and Mrs Armbruster! I've come to babysit your daughter and her friends. This afternoon, I'm taking them to the Apple Store to buy them iPad Airs.

Mrs Armbruster: Well, Ashley A. I want you to be on your best behaviour. Okay? 

Ashley A: Okay! I promise! 

Mr Armbruster: Good! That's our girl!

Even Tyler A was wishing his big sister luck.

Tyler A: Good luck, Ashley! 

Ashley A: Oh thanks, Tyler!

Then Ashley A walked out of the house. Then Ashley A got into Miss Finster's car and sat on the back with the other Ashleys.

Ashley A: Thanks for picking me up, Ashleys.

Ashley B: Ah, that's okay! 

Ashley Q: We can't wait to get iPad Airs!

Ashley T: Yeah, and no one can call us liars! Hahahaha!

Ashleys: Ooh, scandalous! Hahahahahahahaha!

Miss Finster: Okay, Ashleys! That's enough! We're going now! 

So Miss Finster drove her car on the way to the Apple Store, and then Miss Finster and the Ashleys reached the Apple Store. They got out of the car, and the Ashleys ran inside the Apple Store with glee as Miss Finster kept up with them. 

Miss Finster: Okay, what would you like, Ashleys?

Ashley A: Okay, iPad Airs. These ones, these ones!

Ashley B: We want those iPad Airs.

Ashley Q: They have retina display, over 300,000 apps, also comes with keyboards.

Ashley T: There on the left.

Miss Finster: Oh, Ashleys, $900?

Ashley A: We can't wait to see the look on TJ Detweiler and his friends' stupid faces when they see our iPads have more memory than theirs!

Miss Finster: Ashleys, we can't afford those ones. I don't have enough enough for that iPad Air for each of you.   

Ashley A: Well you don't expect us to get the iPad Airs, do you?

Miss Finster: I think we need to get you Ashleys a different brand, hon. They're a little cheaper.

Ashley A: Ashley A, everyone knows that everything but Apple is stupid!

Miss Finster saw something interesting.

Miss Finster: Here, look at these ones. iPad Minis. 

Ashley A: But wait, what about the iPad Airs? 

Ashley B: Are you going to be kidding us?!

Miss Finster: Sorry, Ashleys. I'm not joking. iPad Air costs $900. But, I'll get you iPad Minis. It's $600 each for the right place, and it's the right amount of money I had.

The Ashleys were shocked. 

Ashleys: iPad Minis??

Miss Finster: This says they do everything the iPad Airs do, at half the price!

Ashley A: Miss Finster, do not screw us over again!

Ashley B: If we take those things to school.

Ashley Q: Everyone is gonna think we're poverty-stricken a**holes! 

Miss Finster: Come on Ashleys! Make your decision to get iPad Minis or you don't!

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) No way, Miss Finster!

Ashley B: (in Kidaroo voice) We want what we want!

Ashley Q: (in Kidaroo voice) So give the iPad Airs to us, now!

Ashley T: (in Kidaroo voice) Yeah, or else!

Then Spinelli and Gretchen came.

Miss Finster: Ashleys, stop acting like spoiled brats! Either you can have the iPad Minis, or you can have nothing at all! Everyone's watching at us!

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) Oh! I have a better idea!

Ashley B: (in Kidaroo voice) Why don't you go to the store, and buy some condoms?

Ashley T: (in Kidaroo voice) Because we should at least be safe with me if you're gonna f*** us, Miss Finster!

Miss Finster: (sternly) Ashleys!

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) You might as well go buy some cigarettes too. 

Ashley B: (in Kidaroo voice) Because we like to have a smoke after we get good and f*****!

Ashley Q: (in Kidaroo voice) Do you wanna f*** us, Miss Finster?!

Spinelli and Gretchen were now staring at the Ashleys and Miss Finster.

Ashley T: (in Kidaroo voice) Just say so!

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) Go ahead! Here! 

The Ashleys pulled down their knickers to moon Miss Finster, who put her hands over her mouth. 

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) Huh?! Go ahead, mom! F*** us!

Ashley B: (in Kidaroo voice) Go ahead, Miss Finster! F*** us!

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) F*** us right here in the Best Buy!

Ashley Q: (in Kidaroo voice) Do you want to f*** the Ashleys so bad?!

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) Go on Miss Finster! F*** us! F*** us!

Then the Ashleys stopped mooning Miss Finster and pulled their knickers back up.

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) So, you don't want to f*** us!

Ashley B: (in Kidaroo voice) Alright then!

Ashley Q: (in Kidaroo voice) We will throw a mental breakdown if you f*** us!

Ashley T: (in Kidaroo voice) Yeah!

Spinelli: This is a serious time to get the heck outta here, right?

Gretchen: Right, Spinelli! I think we should get outta here!

Spinelli and Gretchen fled, and the Ashleys began to go on a rampage to attack the Apple Store. Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) Time to terrorize the Best Buy!

The Ashleys knocked the MacBook shelf down.

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) Get outta here, dumb MacBooks!

Ashley B: (in Kidaroo voice): Take the stupid iPad Minis away from our faces!

The Ashleys threw the iPad Minis away.

Ashley Q: (in Kidaroo voice) Stupid iPad Minis!

The Ashleys knocked the aisles down.

Ashley T: (in Kidaroo voice) Clear off those aisles!

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) Eat our shorts! Time to burn the Apple Store in heck! 

The Ashleys started the burn the entire store in heck, setting in on fire.

Ashley A: (in Kidaroo voice) Yeah, yeah! Burn in heck! Apple Store!

Ashleys: (in Kidaroo voice): iPad Minis Eat Shorts! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! 

Miss Finster was furious at the Ashleys, throwing a fit.

Miss Finster: (Scary voice) Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! Ashleys, Ashleys, Ashleys, how dare you four cause a mental breakdown? That's it! All of you are grounded, grounded, grounded when you get home! (normal voice) That's enough now, Ashleys! Let's get in the car to go home, and you four are getting absolutely nothing!

The Ashleys ran out of the Apple Store and they started screaming to the police officer.

Ashleys: (in Kidaroo voice) Help! Help! Miss Finster is trying to f*** us!

Miss Finster grabbed the Ashleys. 

Miss Finster: Oh no you don't! You're not going anywhere, and can't go speaking to the police officer like that!

Then Miss Finster drove the Ashleys home in disgrace.

(scary Sound FX)

The Ashleys were crying.

Ashleys: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Miss Finster: Stop crying, Ashleys! I told you if you kept acting up, you weren't getting anything!

Ashley A: [sniffles] But we told you we were sorry.

Miss Finster: You four made me look like some sort of child molester in front of all those PEOPLE!

Ashley B: We weren't trying to get you in trouble.

Miss Finster: Then why did you four go outside to a police officer and say "Help! Help! Miss Finster is trying to f*** us!"?!

The Ashleys looked around for something to come back with. 

Ashley A: Oh wait, we get it now!

Ashley B: The F-word is a no-no word.

Ashley Q: And I shouldn't say it around other people. We're sorry Miss Finster.

Ashley T: Yeah, we're sorry. 

Miss Finster: If you Ashleys are really sorry, then you'll understand why you aren't getting ANYTHING!! You four just cause a mental breakdown, there's fire around, now it's too late to get the iPads!

Ashley A: [sniffles] Well, now that doesn't really have any logical sense, Miss Finster,

Ashley B: Because we're already being punished by not getting the iPads.

Ashley Q: Miss Finster. Please, can we just go back and get the iPad Minis?

Ashley T: Pretty, please?

Miss Finster: NO!! You four have just have your chance! Now you don't because you aren't getting anything!

Ashley A: Well then can we at least pull up here and get some dinner? 'Cause we like to be wined and dined after we've been F*****! 

At GNN News studio, Alan the Newscaster had an announcement.

Alan: Good afternoon, I'm Alan, and welcome to GNN news at six. And here what's breaking news this hour. Today's story is about a clique of four snobby girls known as the Ashleys who throw a mental breakdown at the Apple Store because they didn't get what they wanted. We'll take you there with Philip. Philip, are you there? Can you hear me?

Then his friend Philip was present outside the wrecked Apple Store and he explained to Alan.

Philip: Yes, Alan. I hear you loud and clear. Anyways, I'm outside at the Apple Store, some major incident has happened, the Ashleys didn't get what they wanted, as a result, they destroyed the entire Apple Store by throwing a mental breakdown because of them.

Then Philip went inside the Apple Store.

Philip: As you can see, the entire Apple Store has been destroyed. All of the aisles have been ripped apart, and the counter has been destroyed, and all the laptops, computers, tablets, MP3 players, and phones made by Apple have been dismantled. And with me to report is the clerk of the Apple Store.

Then the clerk named Duncan came, feeling upset.

Philip: Sir, could you please tell me and everyone on GNN news about what happened?

Duncan: Yes, Philip. Thanks for asking. Well, the Ashleys are throwing a tantrum because they don't get what they wanted by Miss Finster. So they tried to throw a mental breakdown. There are no tablets, phones, MP3 or MP4 players, laptops and computers are made by Apple to sell from other people. Also, they pulled down their knickers to Miss Finster and say.... (in Kidaroo voice) 'Go ahead, Miss Finster! Eff us! Eff us! Eff us right here at the Apple Store! Do you want to eff us so bad? Just say so!'.

Philip: Well, thanks for the complement, Duncan the Clerk.

Then Philip was outside the Apple Store to interview Spinelli and Gretchen.

Philip: I'm outside with some two guests Ashley Spinelli and Gretchen Gretchen, they are going to tell us the information about what happened. Stay tuned after this commercial break.

After the commercial break, Philip continued to interview Spinelli and Gretchen.

Philip: OK, I'm back outside the Apple Store with two guests. Spinelli, Gretchen, can you tell us what happened?

Gretchen: Well, me and Spinelli went to the Apple Store to buy a MacBook Pro, then I've seen the Ashleys pull down their knickers and said the F-word, and throw a mental breakdown at Miss Finster.

Spinelli: It's embarrassing how the Ashleys say inappropriate stuff to other people. Then we tried to go out quickly!

Gretchen: They should be grounded by their parents for saying inappropriate stuff!

Philip: Thanks for sharing, Spinelli and Gretchen. I hope that you're safe, and now return to Alan at the GNN News Studio.

At the GNN News studio. Alan was interviewing the Ashleys and Miss Finster. Miss Finster was having a fit and was in an angry mood. 

Alan: Thanks, Philip, I am joining the GNN News studio by some visitors. The Ashleys and Miss Finste, do you have anything to say?

Miss Finster: Yes, the Ashleys from Third Street School didn't get what they wanted. Because of this, they asked me that the Ashleys force me to eff them so bad. Then they tried to throw a mental breakdown, this is so crazy!

Ashley A: But Miss Finster, it's my own fault.

Ashley B: I didn't get what I wanted.

Ashley Q: Now we got nothing. 

Ashley T: Yeah.

Miss Finster: Shut up, Ashleys! All of you have destroyed the entire Apple Store and pulled down your knickers, and tried to f*** you, none of this will ever happen.

Ashley A: We told Miss Finster that we're really really really really really sorry.

Ashley B: We even asked that we can go back to the Apple Store to get the iPad Minis instead.

Ashley Q: But no, I'm grounded, grounded.

Ashley T: And our parents are going to get mad at us. 

Alan: As you can see, the Ashleys and Miss Finster are having an argument, and the Ashleys are sad because they didn't get what they wanted.

Miss Finster: Do not worry, madam. When I bring them home to their parents, the Ashleys are going to be grounded grounded grounded as well. They won't go to fast food restaurants, they will not go to the movies, they will not get an iPhone 6 when it comes out, she will not play any video games unless they're educational, and furthermore, she will be working in Kelso's for a whole month. Let's go, Ashleys.

Then the Ashleys and Miss Finster walked off, and the Ashlets were crying.

Ashleys: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Alan went back to announcing.

Alan: Well, that's for us for this GNN news, I'm Alan, goodnight.

Back at Ashley A's house. Ashley A's parents were very annoyed at Ashley A.

Mr Armbruster: What? We can't believe that you and your friends pulled down your knickers at Miss Finster and said.

Then Mr Armbruster pulled down his pants and exposed his butt to show his daughter Ashley A.

Mr Armbruster: (in Kidaroo voice) 'Do you want to eff us? Just say so! Cuz you can eff us! Eff us! Eff us right there at the Apple Store!.

Then Mr Armbruster pulled his pants up and continued scolding his daughter. .

Mr Armbruster: And threw a mental breakdown there! Why did you do that? Huh! You know it's disrespectful!

Ashley A: Me and my friends told Miss Finster we wanted to get those iPad Airs. But no, she forces us buy the iPad Minis instead.

Mrs Armbruster: You know you should be ashamed by us. We're not taking you anywhere, plus, no pizza for you, no Mario Kart Wii, no Xbox one, no Playstation 4, no vacations, and so on! For a whole month!

Mr Armbruster: I agree with your mother, now go upstairs to your room now!

Ashley A went to her room, crying.

Ashley A: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! This is so unfair!

Mr Armbruster: You know what's unfair! Throwing the iPad Minis at the Apple Store, that's why!

Back at Ashley B's house. Ashley B's parents were very annoyed at Ashley B.

Mr Boulet: What? We can't believe that you and your friends pulled down your knickers at Miss Finster and said.

Then Mr Boulet pulled down his pants and exposed his butt to show his daughter Ashley B.

Mr Boulet: (in Kidaroo voice) 'Do you want to eff us? Just say so! Cuz you can eff us! Eff us! Eff us right there at the Apple Store!.

Then Mr Boulet pulled his pants up and continued scolding his daughter. .

Mr Boulet: And threw a mental breakdown there! Why did you do that? Huh! You know it's disrespectful!

Ashley B: Me and my friends told Miss Finster we wanted to get those iPad Airs. But no, she forces us buy the iPad Minis instead.

Mrs Boulet: You know you should be ashamed by us. We're not taking you anywhere, plus, no pizza for you, no Mario Kart Wii, no Xbox one, no Playstation 4, no vacations, and so on! For a whole month!

Mr Boulet: I agree with your mother, now go upstairs to your room now!

Ashley B went to her room, crying.

Ashley B: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! This is so unfair!

Mr Boulet: You know what's unfair! Throwing the iPad Minis at the Apple Store, that's why!

Back at Ashley Q's house. Ashley Q's parents were very annoyed at Ashley Q.

Mr Quinlan: What? We can't believe that you and your friends pulled down your knickers at Miss Finster and said.

Then Mr Quinlan pulled down his pants and exposed his butt to show his daughter Ashley Q.

Mr Quinlan: (in Kidaroo voice) 'Do you want to eff us? Just say so! Cuz you can eff us! Eff us! Eff us right there at the Apple Store!.

Then Mr Quinlan pulled his pants up and continued scolding his daughter. .

Mr Quinlan: And threw a mental breakdown there! Why did you do that? Huh! You know it's disrespectful!

Ashley Q: Me and my friends told Miss Finster we wanted to get those iPad Airs. But no, she forces us buy the iPad Minis instead.

Mrs Quinlan: You know you should be ashamed by us. We're not taking you anywhere, plus, no pizza for you, no Mario Kart Wii, no Xbox one, no Playstation 4, no vacations, and so on! For a whole month!

Mr Quinlan: I agree with your mother, now go upstairs to your room now!

Ashley Q went to her room, crying.

Ashley Q: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! This is so unfair!

Mr Quinlan: You know what's unfair! Throwing the iPad Minis at the Apple Store, that's why!

Back at Ashley T's house. Ashley A's parents were very annoyed at Ashley T.

Mr Tomassian: What? We can't believe that you and your friends pulled down your knickers at Miss Finster and said.

Then Mr Tomassian pulled down his pants and exposed his butt to show his daughter Ashley T.

Mr Tomassian: (in Kidaroo voice) 'Do you want to eff us? Just say so! Cuz you can eff us! Eff us! Eff us right there at the Apple Store!.

Then Mr Tomassian pulled his pants up and continued scolding his daughter. .

Mr Tomassian: And threw a mental breakdown there! Why did you do that? Huh! You know it's disrespectful!

Ashley T: Me and my friends told Miss Finster we wanted to get those iPad Airs. But no, she forces us buy the iPad Minis instead.

Mrs Tomassian: You know you should be ashamed by us. We're not taking you anywhere, plus, no pizza for you, no Mario Kart Wii, no Xbox one, no Playstation 4, no vacations, and so on! For a whole month!

Mr Tomassian: I agree with your mother, now go upstairs to your room now!

Ashley T went to her room, crying.

Ashley T: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! This is so unfair!

Mr Tomassian: You know what's unfair! Throwing the iPad Minis at the Apple Store, that's why!

At Spinelli's house.

Spinelli's mum: Thank you, Ashley and Gretchen, for letting us know about the Ashleys. They're bad bad girls that they're throwing a mental breakdown at the Apple Store, and fire in there.

Spinelli's dad: Ashley, you're ungrounded, and as for you Gretchen, I like your new style. I'll reward you two million dollars.

Spinelli: Woo hoo! We finally got money. Thank you so much! I hope the Ashleys are bad bad girls. But not me, I'm always good!

Gretchen: Indeed, Spinelli. I hope they're grounded grounded grounded for a month. So Spinelli, where do we go when we have money?

Spinelli: I say, I think we can go to the aquarium to see my friends from the underwater tank.

Gretchen: Good idea, c'mon, Spinelli, let's go!

Then Spinelli and Gretchen went to the aquarium.



CAST

Emma as Ashley Armbruster

Amy as Ashley Boulet and Gretchen Grundler

Allison as Ashley Quinlan 

Salli as Ashley Tomassian

Eric as TJ Detweiler and Mr Armbruster 

Paul as Vince LaSSao

Julie as Spinelli

Joey as Mikey Blumberg and Mr Tomassian 

Evil Genius/David/Zack as Gus Griswald and Philip 

Wiseguy as Miss Finster 

Alan as Alan the Newscaster

Duncan as Duncan the Clerk 

Kate as Mrs Armbruster

Young Guy as Tyler Armbruster 

Steven as Mr Boulet 

Veena as Mrs Boulet

Dallas as Mr Quinlan 

Kimberley as Mrs Quinlan

Kendra as Mrs Tomassian

Kidaroo as the Ashleys' angry voices and the Ashleys' crying voices 

Scary voice as Miss Finster's angry voice 

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